E.T. Ain't Me

We all google ourselves, right? I'm not alone here in this. I know that. Anyway, I was just messin' around googling myself and I read some article about how Bigfoot is really an extraterrestrial. Seriously? Have you seen extraterrestrials? Evidently not, because then you'd know what you're talking about. No, you'd rather lay around in your blogging sweatpants and spread rumours than do the research.

By the way, we all have blogging sweatpants, right? Mine are gray. With an extra large waistband because I also have a bowl of blogging bon-bons.

Anyway, I was at Area 52 a few years back, and I took some great photos of aliens. The interesting thing is, and I'm sure you'll all find this pretty shocking...is that aliens look a lot like snowmen. That's right. Think about that the next time your kids are out there playing in the snow and some cosmic force leads them into building a snowman. Yeah, they're all "Frosty this!" and "Holly Jolly" that, but they're really not. Each snowflake is a nanorobot sent from the mothership to record human activity for the eventual overthrow of mankind. And you think that snow actually melts? Nope. It just returns to the mothership, or goes down to Area 52 for a mix and mingle.

Just remember, despite what the blogosphere says, Bigfoot is not an E.T. The only portal I've ever used has a roll of toilet paper next to it.