Okay, what idiot human out there thinks that a legitimate Bigfoot track has only 3 toes? What am I, a sloth or something? I mean, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the most athletic guy in the woods, but c'mon. Just because I have a little more hair than the average Joe doesn't mean I have a little less toe.
Did you know the way to a Bigfoot's heart is through his toes? Although, to be fair, also his stomach. And his cerebral cortex. I mean, you plunk Donkey Kong Jr in front of me, and you had me at Mario.
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